If the door's closed and the fan is on: these parents are getting it on

Pennsylvania - This couple has opted for a very open approach to sex and intimacy. Now their children always know when they need some grown-up time just for the two of them.

Jamie Beth Cohen and her husband have an eight-year-old son and an eleven-year-old daughter (collage).
Jamie Beth Cohen and her husband have an eight-year-old son and an eleven-year-old daughter (collage).  © Facebook Screenshot Jamie Beth Cohen

Jamie Beth Cohen, mom of two kids (8, 11), wrote an article for the Huffington Post in which she explained why she and her husband decided to tell her children when they were going to get intimate.

The decision came during the coronavirus lockdown:

"If I close the door and turn on the fan in the hall, please leave us alone. We’re having sex."

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The couple might not be making love the whole time the door is closed and the fan is on. They might also be watching TV or lounging around naked, just like they used to do when they first got together.

This might sound like a scandalous approach to discussing sexuality with children, but it is part of Jamie's approach of having a sex-positive household. In other words, the couple has committed to being open and honest about sex, intimacy, and the resulting emotions. According to Jamie, this approach has paid off.

The Cohens' 11-year-old daughter even jokes "Don't do anything I wouldn't do" when her mom takes her to her room so the parents can have some grown-up play time.

Being open helped this couple find space for themselves

Sex when the kids were home wasn't a normal occurrence before the pandemic. Jamie said that before she preferred get intimate when the kids were out of the house: when they were at sleepovers, soccer practice, piano lessons, or other play dates.

Shortly before lockdown began, Jamie's husband had a frank discussion about the parents' sex lives with the kids. At first, this made Jamie feel awkward and uncomfortable, but it turned out for the best because it gave her the courage to be honest and open about sex.

She said that before she became transparent about when they were having sex during the lockdown, she felt like she was sneaking around: "It felt too much like lying, and while I know we were under no obligation to tell them, we didn’t have a good reason not to." Jamie wrote that now that her children know, she feels like sex these days is "more about connection" like it was when the couple had just gotten together.

Jamie's decision to be open and honest about sexuality was inspired by the writer Peggy Orenstein. The author is a proponent of the philosophy that parents should not only be open and honest about sex, but also about intimacy in all its facets.

Maybe other couples will follow Jamie's lead and be honest not only about sex, but also about when they want to have it. It might make couples more comfortable during lockdowns around the world.

Cover photo: Facebook Screenshot Jamie Beth Cohen

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