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Sex columnist explains why women stop having sex with their partner

Sydney, Australia - A sex columnist explains why women in monogamous relationships sometimes lose their interest in sex – and it's not because their sex drives diminish over time.

Nadia Bokody explains how a disinterest in sex can creep into a relationship.
Nadia Bokody explains how a disinterest in sex can creep into a relationship.  © Facebook Screenshot Nadia Bokody

It's hard to imagine that someone who got their fifteen minutes of fame by claiming that they had a sex addition would stop having sex. But in an interview with the Daily Mail, Nadia Bokody has since backpedaled and now considers sex addiction to be a myth.

But that's not the only thing that she considers ridiculous. In her column for News.com.au, she explains why she thinks it's a myth that women's sex drives decrease over time. She has other explanations for why women in long term monogamous relationships might lose interest in sex – after all, it happened to her too.

"It happened one night as we were getting into bed," the sex expert writes in her article. "My boyfriend and I have stopped having sex."

According to Bokody, "there’s an undeniable point in long-term relationships where what once felt effortless and euphoric evolves into predictability and tedium."

She doesn't think that this happens because women lose their libido, while men still remain interested. But she does agree that this acute disinterest in sex seems to manifest more in the female partner. She mentions stories of men who try to bribe their girlfriends for blowjobs and birthday sex by offering to take out the trash.

Bokody claims that any woman who says she has "lost her libido" probably has a vibrator charging in her bedside drawer. She notes the constantly growing sex toy market as an indicator that woman's sex drives aren't decreasing, even if they are in stable relationships.

Sexual desire isn't dead and gone – it just needs a little jump start

Bokody says that she and multiple sex experts know how hard it can be to keep the fire going and sometimes couples are just suffering from sex apathy. As a consequence, women seem to lose interest because sex has become blasé and routine. Being saddled with doing the bulk of the housework makes sex even less of a priority.

But Bokody wouldn't be a sex expert if she did not also offer a solution for couples dealing with a dry spell. She claims that dopamine can reawaken sexual desire. This requires taking risks or trying something new. So if someone is looking to rekindle the fire, they would benefit from introducing some fresh ideas in the bedroom or on date night.

Bokody also emphasizes that lots of long term couples experiences periods where there is little or no sex. She thinks things would be better if more people talked about sex and sexual apathy.

Cover photo: Facebook Screenshot Nadia Bokody

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