Melania Trump's memoir debuts to lackluster reception: "Two hours of my life I'll never get back!"

New York, New York - Melania Trump recently put out her long-awaited memoir, but most critics are unimpressed – to say the least.

Former first lady Melania Trump recently released her highly anticipated memoir, but reviews for the book haven't been very positive.
Former first lady Melania Trump recently released her highly anticipated memoir, but reviews for the book haven't been very positive.  © Collage: IMAGO / Pond5 Images, CARLO ALLEGRI, Alon Skuy / Getty Images North America / Getty Images via AFP, MANDEL NGAN / AFP, & LAURIE DIEFFEMBACQ / BELGA / AFP

Back in March, Melania, who had been noticeably absent from her husband Donald Trump's side and avoiding the public since the January 6 Capitol riots, told the media, "Stay tuned!" when asked when she plans to return to the world of politics.

For months, the country was left in suspense, speculating about her whereabouts and the state of her marriage.

But in September, she began releasing promos on social media for her book, confirming that she is still very much in love with her husband.

Marjorie Taylor Greene pumps iron to prove Mark Cuban is "intimidated" by MAGA women
Marjorie Taylor Greene Marjorie Taylor Greene pumps iron to prove Mark Cuban is "intimidated" by MAGA women

On Tuesday, the former first lady released the highly anticipated book – simply titled Melania: A Memoir - which promised "an intimate portrait of a woman who has lived an extraordinary life."

Though the book has disclosed a few new revelations, such as her pro-choice views that notably contradict her husband's and her disdain for people who have labeled her a "gold-digger," Melania spends most of the memoir praising her husband and parroting some of his most controversial rhetoric.

She largely ignores the backlash his comments have been met with and instead insists he is a loving husband, a dedicated family man, and a proud American.

Melania has been giving interviews exclusively to Fox News, including one on the day of the release, where she talks mostly about her husband and how "Democrats are trying to silence him."

So, did the book actually deliver on its promises? Well, not really.

What are critics saying about Melania: A Memoir?

Donald Trump and his wife Melania Trump during a rally in Valdosta, Georgia on December 5, 2020.
Donald Trump and his wife Melania Trump during a rally in Valdosta, Georgia on December 5, 2020.  © Andrew CABALLERO-REYNOLDS / AFP

One of the most recurring criticisms of Melania's memoir is how short it is, as it comes in at only 256 pages – 31 of which are photos – and only takes readers about two or three hours to get through.

On Amazon, where the book became a bestseller a little more than a month before its release, the majority of reviews so far have been positive, but many have noted it is a quick read, with one describing it as "two hours of my life I'll never get back."

Reviews from the media have been even more critical. A reporter for iNews likened the memoir to a coffee table book, saying that "no one really reads them" because they "exist less for substance" and more "for ornament."

JD Vance claims unhealthy and overweight men tend to be Democrats in Joe Rogan interview
Politicians JD Vance claims unhealthy and overweight men tend to be Democrats in Joe Rogan interview

The Telegraph gave the book one out of five stars, stating, "Those hoping for an intimate peek at the private lives of the Trumps will be disappointed. This book is deeply weird."

"Mrs Trump's inability to put anything on the page that's insightful or recognizably human is likely related to her failure to be a good model," the review added. "The dead-behind-the-eyes thing isn't a tasteful pose, and blank prettiness isn't enough to sustain a fantasy."

Vanity Fair described it as "truly bad," further stating, "rather than offering illuminating interiority or glimpses into private moments... there are instead interminable tick-tocks of public events, as though she asked Chat GPT for stage directions to her husband's presidency."

Melania Trump makes her return to MAGA

Despite serving as first lady in one of the wildest presidential administrations in US history, Melania had very little to say and somehow managed to ignore bigger picture facts about Trump's presidency while blaming everyone else – from the media to her own staff – for the trials and tribulations they faced while in office.

Melania, who never did a book tour or media spots outside of Fox News to promote the book, may not be joining Trump on the campaign trail as she once did, but this time, she's campaigning her way. According to CNN, that way is quite expensive, as she recently attempted to charge the network $250,000 for an interview.

Melania's memoir is currently available everywhere for $40, and a collectors' edition, which includes additional photos and a digital collectable, is on sale on her website for $150.

Cover photo: Collage: IMAGO / Pond5 Images, CARLO ALLEGRI, Alon Skuy / Getty Images North America / Getty Images via AFP, MANDEL NGAN / AFP, & LAURIE DIEFFEMBACQ / BELGA / AFP

More on Melania Trump: